Space

"Space"

Amanda C. Symmes, LICSW

Sitting down with the feelings today

No knocking needed- just come on in

and join me for a cup of tea

(or whatever you'd like to sip on) 

Then spill it -

Tell me what I need to know right now,

Why are you here?

Resentment, you can talk first, 

You've been 

awfully loud lately...

what gives?

PAUSE

CLOSE EYES

BREATHE

Ohhhhh, what an interesting shade 

of excrement you are

Sitting quietly with you 

here and acutely mulling over-

your role

purpose 

message 

You fizz into everything I do lately

Your rancid stench is strong and refuses 

dissipation

I'll find what's rotting, to free you

What's that? 

Your near enemies are stress and frustration? 

And since they've been improperly cared for

you had to step in? 

Welcome

 I am ready to listen

Breathing leads to seeing leads to hearing leads to healing

You say your far enemies are

autonomy and space? 

Why YES. Of course they are.

Okay, I see you

I appreciate this offering 

Breathing in, I make space for all of it

And your message

seems tangled up in 

something else?

Who is that hiding

behind you? 

Why are they holding your

hand? 

Come in, come in

Share your tea with me, please.

Ohhh, there you are Fear.

 I almost didn't recognize you. 

Perhaps, I neglect to actually look at you mostly,

it is simply too much to hold

but seeing you hold resentment's hand 

I feel less afraid. 

I see you in yourself.  

You come in so many colors-heavy and expansive

The gradience of gray

comes alive now, majestically

Purple and emerald are 

fused here twisting around inside as well

My chest tightens only briefly at

at the thought of letting you stay 

 

But in your other hand I see

your tea you clutch is trembling as you

seek your own release from me

It's not the other way around

Has it been this way all along?

I wasn't paying attention Fear

and I am sorry for that

You are obtuse and seeing all

the dangers ahead is your job 

and it can serve me if I listen with wisdom

and discern well

Rather, in my rejection of you

you've become caged here

with me

Each of us stuck holding the key for the other 

So while resentment has stepped to the side

It waits for you and I

to do our thing...

Inhale, Exhale, Release

Oh how beautiful

Your tea is gone and we've

pulled ourselves together

You are not shaking and

foreboding at all

You are a magnificent swirling

energetic light 

Pure power and potential 

When I see you as this

you only become more

precious and beautiful 

and like a ribbon or an aurora 

You call for me to trust

Encircling me in electricity, fueling me with newness-

Faith

Each of us, drawing energy from the other, 

we gain strength to move on

Your near enemy may be worry,

But your far enemy is the bravery that I need right now

I had no idea that looking just a bit closer and holding myself still here, 

That I would find you...

What is coming next, I do not know

How wondrous to not get to know!?

Relief whispers that our path has not ended yet

We dodged the temptation to shove

ourselves onto the highway

of "expected next steps"

for a quick trip to nowhere good

 Continuing this slow journey

With caution-

 This terrain is less traversed

So the perils that lurk can hurt, at times

These messengers that dropped in for tea 

Remind

to give mind to all of it

They were never trying to take up residence

In fact they have already alerted the 

more important guests to arrive

Soon

They just sought time tea for tea

With me

To spill into this space together

Now that I feel them

slipping out the door

I am content in my home with Space.