"Space"
Amanda C. Symmes, LICSW
Sitting down with the feelings today
No knocking needed- just come on in
and join me for a cup of tea
(or whatever you'd like to sip on)
Then spill it -
Tell me what I need to know right now,
Why are you here?
Resentment, you can talk first,
You've been
awfully loud lately...
what gives?
PAUSE
CLOSE EYES
BREATHE
Ohhhhh, what an interesting shade
of excrement you are
Sitting quietly with you
here and acutely mulling over-
your role
purpose
message
You fizz into everything I do lately
Your rancid stench is strong and refuses
dissipation
I'll find what's rotting, to free you
What's that?
Your near enemies are stress and frustration?
And since they've been improperly cared for
you had to step in?
Welcome
I am ready to listen
Breathing leads to seeing leads to hearing leads to healing
You say your far enemies are
autonomy and space?
Why YES. Of course they are.
Okay, I see you
I appreciate this offering
Breathing in, I make space for all of it
And your message
seems tangled up in
something else?
Who is that hiding
behind you?
Why are they holding your
hand?
Come in, come in
Share your tea with me, please.
Ohhh, there you are Fear.
I almost didn't recognize you.
Perhaps, I neglect to actually look at you mostly,
it is simply too much to hold
but seeing you hold resentment's hand
I feel less afraid.
I see you in yourself.
You come in so many colors-heavy and expansive
The gradience of gray
comes alive now, majestically
Purple and emerald are
fused here twisting around inside as well
My chest tightens only briefly at
at the thought of letting you stay
But in your other hand I see
your tea you clutch is trembling as you
seek your own release from me
It's not the other way around
Has it been this way all along?
I wasn't paying attention Fear
and I am sorry for that
You are obtuse and seeing all
the dangers ahead is your job
and it can serve me if I listen with wisdom
and discern well
Rather, in my rejection of you
you've become caged here
with me
Each of us stuck holding the key for the other
So while resentment has stepped to the side
It waits for you and I
to do our thing...
Inhale, Exhale, Release
Oh how beautiful
Your tea is gone and we've
pulled ourselves together
You are not shaking and
foreboding at all
You are a magnificent swirling
energetic light
Pure power and potential
When I see you as this
you only become more
precious and beautiful
and like a ribbon or an aurora
You call for me to trust
Encircling me in electricity, fueling me with newness-
Faith
Each of us, drawing energy from the other,
we gain strength to move on
Your near enemy may be worry,
But your far enemy is the bravery that I need right now
I had no idea that looking just a bit closer and holding myself still here,
That I would find you...
What is coming next, I do not know
How wondrous to not get to know!?
Relief whispers that our path has not ended yet
We dodged the temptation to shove
ourselves onto the highway
of "expected next steps"
for a quick trip to nowhere good
Continuing this slow journey
With caution-
This terrain is less traversed
So the perils that lurk can hurt, at times
These messengers that dropped in for tea
Remind
to give mind to all of it
They were never trying to take up residence
In fact they have already alerted the
more important guests to arrive
Soon
They just sought time tea for tea
With me
To spill into this space together
Now that I feel them
slipping out the door
I am content in my home with Space.
