The Sounds of Weightlessness

Rhododendrons reveal

whiteness, 

while

sun cascades 

clipping and casting

shadows on suburban

homes and dreams

And birds flit

faster 

it seems these

days,

louder too.

Can they

see it all? 

Can they

hear it all?

Better still,

can WE?

The panic

The injustice

The illness

The void

The meaning

Do they carry 

messages to one

another 

wondering,

purposefully

plotting

how to get us to 

not just notice

this, 

but also

to vote on this?

Can we hear it?

The invisibility

cloak 

of privilege

and pride

serves as a

weighted blanket

for some,

therapeutically

quelling

discomfort

lullabying

that there is

"nothing more

to be done here"

After all,

'it's just awful'

and 

'such 

a shame'

Clucks of

the tongue

team up with

disgusted

shakes of

the head
clearing space 

so folks can 

get back in

line at 

home

depot 

for potted

plants and 

grass seed

and I wonder

what's the most

important thing

to grow?

And the 

birds hang

out in the 

garden center

too, you know

they see it all
and 

their chatter 
is everywhere
for those who
truly listen

I'd like

to think

they're all

abuzz 

about the 

phoenix

rising up in

the streets

Aware

that enough 

is finally 

enough 

and the 

time to pivot

and shift 

has arrived

we can all learn to 
fly 

yet, the terror

that paralyzes

those who

have been long 

served through 

flowers, blankets

now stand

naked, afraid

But this, my friends

is how we are born.

And it

also how

we will 

be born 

again:

weightless

I am Peace.

As I walk into
my meditation
I imagine myself
opening a door to
peace
and visualize
being able to
step inside
where I will feel it
warm and glowing
like a magic tunnel
a place that will protect
me from suffering
transporting me
away and separate

Sinking deeper
into practice
I lose my grip,
Chaos rushes
in the form of
thought
doubt
pain
fear

I grasp
as if
feeling for the
walls of
my peace portal
to bolster me
so that I may
define myself
in space...
only to
find expansiveness
and myself
and the discomfort
gnaws

Naming it:
"discomfort"
"attachment"
I am honoring
these
sensations
emotions
with awareness
and a gentle
invitation to
stay

Returning
to the breath
to anchor,
the discomfort
slips past
the attachment
loosens
the need
for containment
transforms

Suddenly
a revelatory
knowing arrives
and it seems
to have
originated
within
Not from
the mind
or
the ego

Deeper

It surfaces
and
a smile
subtly
sneaks
allowing me
to relish
in a knowingness

that heals
that reveals
that in
recognizing...seals

Opening
my eyes
I tell myself:

I

Am

Peace.

And for
today,
I know this
to be true.

Namaste.

Architect of Connection

Big feelings bloomed in snark and noise

Mutual righteousness adorned each side

Until a sudden "freeze out", silence

Naked emotion stuck, nowhere to hide

Letters were shared bravely bedside

Writing for healing stings as it goes

Vulnerability bled messy into margins

No response-never-exposed once more

Self-doubt and fear growing up in gardens

This is the way a heart hardens

Anxious tendrils, vines of confusion

Emotional neglect quietly worked to rewire

Then an abrupt melting, occurred sans science

First hold ice cubes, next fan the fire

You began to feel like a fraudulent liar

Ego dystonic thoughts without any space

A landscape rife for numbing then shame

"If you plant ice, you're gonna harvest wind" 

Lyrics that danced for decades inside a mental frame

Wondering… will I always feel the same?

Breath that defines life from death 

Gave new hope for inhaling inside of truth

Anchored to the pause, feel it and know

I am whole, connected, this exhale my proof

Mindfulness safeguards from acting aloof

I am not my mother

I am not my father

I was never left behind

Because

I am not my feelings

I am not my thoughts

I do not need to rewind

Because

I am not my own mind

I can choose to remind

Love and wisdom interplay in light

Serving me, healing me with protection

I was never really frozen solid, rather 

Learning to be an architect of connection

THIS is what I see in my reflection.

masterpiece

water color paintings 

birthed 

through streaky

ribbons

wet and bright,

a mess of hues

led to completion

through a journey

of liquid squirming

and spreading

directionless

tints and tones

erratically

searching

the primal effort 

to take up space

all of it 

happening

whether we choose

to acknowledge or not

reminding me of feelings

and their pursuit for

peace,

demanding their proper

place

because they

were created 

to know their purpose:

to roam and leak out

filling in the corners

and mixing about

shapes inside of

insight contained

with madness

and brilliance

until they settle

and make sense

becoming beautiful

productions

the ability

to allow is

hardwired into

all of us so we

learn what is real

learn how to feel

learn where to know

learn when to grow

learn why we go

we are all feelings artists

take a deep breath

and cultivate your

process before the

palette dries out

each day

is a new brush

each feeling

a new stroke

let it flow

curate your collection

do the work 

and let it soak

your life is your

finest masterpiece

acceptance and spring

acceptance smells like lilacs

resistance reeks of mold

inhaling spring's sweet messages

avoiding doom bought and sold

the space we give to nature

to change to bend and sway

loans an understanding:

things won't always be this way

winged messages inside the trees

continue to be shared

trust the branches to hold weight

trust we will be spared

faith, belief, grief and loss

teach us how to reframe

guarding us from toxic leaks

empathy cancels out shame

the collective truth of seasons

an antidote for the stressed

notice the center of the flower

beating inside our chest

connection cannot be contained

inside of posts and zooms

be it a place holder for connection

like a bear's winter den rooms

improvise adapt overcome

our power to rise up is now

look out the window with wonder

understand we all know how

walk with this message today:

pain is immediate, sensory and real

notice without getting carried away

prevent suffering, allowing to heal

ringing in our ears like bells

is a prompt to lean into it all 

the wisdom fluttering around us, 

heed a new sounding call 

answer it

answer it

 answer it 

now

Differences

Pandemic Day 3,245. Or whatever.

In the good ole' days, in an actual school classroom:

Solid engagement/comprehension that slips into a loss of focus -> 

"Okay class, let's break into small groups and review"

Blank stares/confused expressions -> 

"Alright guys, no worries, let me back it up a bit"

Silliness and distraction -> 

"Hey everyone, stand up- let's take a movement break, and do a quick check-in"

Today:

Zoom -> "No I don't want to see your mom's room...it's a good idea to put a shirt on...okay, friends- let's do a review of...nope, I MEANT to mute you all...let's just all try to hang in and listen super quick...no I don't know why so and so isn't here again...yes, I hope they're okay too..."

*SIGH*

THIS IS NOT EDUCATION.

Take a wider lens. It's not too late....

Sunlight meditation

Enjoy this children's meditation I created. May it bring you some peace and warmth.