Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Saturday, July 18, 2020

Process

Pause
Observe
Name

FEEL

Reality 
is not always
what's real.

Seeking round
holes
unaware
that our edges
are sharp
and moving
about space
without caution

AND

we can soften
we can bleed
when we concede
each moment
to the breath
and the anchor
of truth

change 
definitely
feels 
some 
kind of
way

safe
to 
say

have
it
your
way

a
new
day

is it pain
or disdain
a refrain
to stay sane

time to 
dance in the 
rain

wash ourselves
clean with 
kaleidoscope
truth
and crystallized
proof

becoming
more comfortable
with discomfort

until we can 
hold it all 
united we stand
when we understand
divided we fall
when we miss the call


Tuesday, June 23, 2020

The Lotus


The Meaning Of The Lotus Flower | Zensitize

Stagnantly sitting outside of my core
Vulnerability arrives and opens a door

Breathing in this
Magnitude, 
My dullness inspired,
An urge to learn more

Clarity is conjured:
A lotus flower vision
complexity and precision

When a mind truly yearns,
It is the heart that learns

"the lotus is a
sacred flower,
symbolizing cosmic
harmony"

Exhaling out this
fortitude
Awash in alignment
Insight begins to show

What else is there to know to grow?

Currently steeping
in undeniable truth
the lotus flower rests,
a floater of proof

"give the lotus as much
light as possible"

Purposefully
elevating voices 
and choices

My beauty
my lightness
my grace and
my power 

Sits at the surface
Atop the white ivory tower

Averse to recognize
The sticky resistance 
lurking beneath-
It quells, 
It repels
It ultimately sells

And yet something...

Something.

Something.... is missing?

No, there is no evidence of lack
Over-abundance bred privilege
 Under-awareness and slack 

Why is it we overly pour
our own estimations 
of the overly poor?

"too much fertilizer
may cause the lotus
foliage to burn"

We are all one lotus

Separating our superiority 
from the root's work and pain
With refute and disdain,
Beautiful hues slip out of the frame

 I am reminded of my truest
intention:"right speech"
Living to teach 
Meaning to reach 

Prevention
Detention
That which 
We should not
Mention

Suspension supports Invention
Propension for Intention

We are all one lotus

Heart Flexes
Mind Pounds
Reactions ripple like pond pebbles
  Or a ringing in the ear
Blocking out slurs from
those I hold dear

Why, why, why all the fear?

I open 
I close

We are all one lotus

"the lotus is associated
with the sun because
it blooms by day,
and closes by night"

Awakening,
I cry 
Feeling, 
I bleed
I am not a rose
Yet these thorns
upon me, wishing to feed




We are all one lotus

The hollow ache 
in my center feels  
 woeful and misunderstood-
I see you, I love you
I honor your good.

"Care must be taken
when inserting
fertilizer tabs, 
because the growing
tip and new growth
can be damaged"

My messages lost 
mistaken, unseen
I close again
 preserving
unliked and unclean

"lotuses started
from seeds will
probably not bloom
the first year"

Listening closely, please tell me you hear?

We must hold on
together... 
Beauty
grows near

Being patient with the slow
Believing bravely we will know
The wisdom is singing up from below
This is how we too shall grow 

We are all one lotus

Rising up from the deep 
Aged suffering
Mischaracterized as cahoots 
Reach down far enough,
We will feel our own roots

"It is important
to protect the 
lotus roots
from freezing"

Leaves and petals
dance with delight
buoyancy supported and white
derived out of muddiness 
Darkness emboldened by night 

"the lotus
is even believed
to have given 
birth to the sun"

When darkness subsides
Our hearts blessed with new sight
Healing our blindness
We are filled with the light 

We are all one lotus





Monday, June 1, 2020

The Sounds of Weightlessness

Rhododendrons reveal
whiteness, 
while
sun cascades 
clipping and casting
shadows on suburban
homes and dreams

And birds flit
faster 
it seems these
days,
louder too.

Can they
see it all? 
Can they
hear it all?

Better still,
can WE?

The panic
The injustice
The illness
The void
The meaning

Do they carry 
messages to one
another 
wondering,
purposefully
plotting
how to get us to 
not just notice
this, 
but also
to vote on this?

Can we hear it?

The invisibility
cloak 
of privilege
and pride
serves as a
weighted blanket
for some,
therapeutically
quelling
discomfort
lullabying
that there is
"nothing more
to be done here"

After all,
'it's just awful'
and 
'such 
a shame'

Clucks of
the tongue
team up with
disgusted
shakes of
the head
clearing space 
so folks can 
get back in
line at 
home
depot 
for potted
plants and 
grass seed

and I wonder
what's the most
important thing
to grow?

And the 
birds hang
out in the 
garden center
too, you know

they see it all
and 
their chatter 
is everywhere
for those who
truly listen

I'd like
to think
they're all
abuzz 
about the 
phoenix

rising up in
the streets

Aware
that enough 
is finally 
enough 
and the 
time to pivot
and shift 
has arrived

we can all learn to 
fly 

yet, the terror
that paralyzes
those who
have been long 
served through 
flowers, blankets
now stand
naked, afraid

But this, my friends
is how we are born.

And it
also how
we will 
be born 
again:

weightless





Wednesday, May 20, 2020

I am Peace.

As I walk into
my meditation
I imagine myself
opening a door to
peace
and visualize
being able to
step inside
where I will feel it
warm and glowing
like a magic tunnel
a place that will protect
me from suffering
transporting me
away and separate

Sinking deeper
into practice
I lose my grip,
Chaos rushes
in the form of
thought
doubt
pain
fear

I grasp
as if
feeling for the
walls of
my peace portal
to bolster me
so that I may
define myself
in space...
only to
find expansiveness
and myself
and the discomfort
gnaws

Naming it:
"discomfort"
"attachment"
I am honoring
these
sensations
emotions
with awareness
and a gentle
invitation to
stay

Returning
to the breath
to anchor,
the discomfort
slips past
the attachment
loosens
the need
for containment
transforms

Suddenly
a revelatory
knowing arrives
and it seems
to have
originated
within
Not from
the mind
or
the ego

Deeper

It surfaces
and
a smile
subtly
sneaks
allowing me
to relish
in a knowingness

that heals
that reveals
that in
recognizing...seals

Opening
my eyes
I tell myself:

I

Am

Peace.

And for
today,
I know this
to be true.

Namaste.

Saturday, May 16, 2020

Architect of Connection

Big feelings bloomed in snark and noise
Mutual righteousness adorned each side
Until a sudden "freeze out", silence
Naked emotion stuck, nowhere to hide

Letters were shared bravely bedside

Writing for healing stings as it goes
Vulnerability bled messy into margins
No response-never-exposed once more
Self-doubt and fear growing up in gardens

This is the way a heart hardens

Anxious tendrils, vines of confusion
Emotional neglect quietly worked to rewire
Then an abrupt melting, occurred sans science
First hold ice cubes, next fan the fire

You began to feel like a fraudulent liar

Ego dystonic thoughts without any space
A landscape rife for numbing then shame
"If you plant ice, you're gonna harvest wind" 
Lyrics that danced for decades inside a mental frame

Wondering… will I always feel the same?

Breath that defines life from death 
Gave new hope for inhaling inside of truth
Anchored to the pause, feel it and know
I am whole, connected, this exhale my proof

Mindfulness safeguards from acting aloof

I am not my mother
I am not my father
I was never left behind
Because
I am not my feelings
I am not my thoughts
I do not need to rewind
Because
I am not my own mind
I can choose to remind

Love and wisdom interplay in light
Serving me, healing me with protection
I was never really frozen solid, rather 
Learning to be an architect of connection

THIS is what I see in my reflection.

Friday, May 8, 2020

masterpiece

water color paintings 
birthed 
through streaky
ribbons
wet and bright,
a mess of hues
led to completion
through a journey
of liquid squirming
and spreading
directionless
tints and tones
erratically
searching
the primal effort 
to take up space
all of it 
happening
whether we choose
to acknowledge or not
reminding me of feelings
and their pursuit for
peace,
demanding their proper
place
because they
were created 
to know their purpose:
to roam and leak out
filling in the corners
and mixing about
shapes inside of
insight contained
with madness
and brilliance
until they settle
and make sense
becoming beautiful
productions
the ability
to allow is
hardwired into
all of us so we
learn what is real
learn how to feel
learn where to know
learn when to grow
learn why we go
we are all feelings artists
take a deep breath
and cultivate your
process before the
palette dries out
each day
is a new brush
each feeling
a new stroke
let it flow
curate your collection
do the work 
and let it soak
your life is your
finest masterpiece