Monday, June 1, 2020

The Sounds of Weightlessness

Rhododendrons reveal
whiteness, 
while
sun cascades 
clipping and casting
shadows on suburban
homes and dreams

And birds flit
faster 
it seems these
days,
louder too.

Can they
see it all? 
Can they
hear it all?

Better still,
can WE?

The panic
The injustice
The illness
The void
The meaning

Do they carry 
messages to one
another 
wondering,
purposefully
plotting
how to get us to 
not just notice
this, 
but also
to vote on this?

Can we hear it?

The invisibility
cloak 
of privilege
and pride
serves as a
weighted blanket
for some,
therapeutically
quelling
discomfort
lullabying
that there is
"nothing more
to be done here"

After all,
'it's just awful'
and 
'such 
a shame'

Clucks of
the tongue
team up with
disgusted
shakes of
the head
clearing space 
so folks can 
get back in
line at 
home
depot 
for potted
plants and 
grass seed

and I wonder
what's the most
important thing
to grow?

And the 
birds hang
out in the 
garden center
too, you know

they see it all
and 
their chatter 
is everywhere
for those who
truly listen

I'd like
to think
they're all
abuzz 
about the 
phoenix

rising up in
the streets

Aware
that enough 
is finally 
enough 
and the 
time to pivot
and shift 
has arrived

we can all learn to 
fly 

yet, the terror
that paralyzes
those who
have been long 
served through 
flowers, blankets
now stand
naked, afraid

But this, my friends
is how we are born.

And it
also how
we will 
be born 
again:

weightless





Wednesday, May 20, 2020

I am Peace.

As I walk into
my meditation
I imagine myself
opening a door to
peace
and visualize
being able to
step inside
where I will feel it
warm and glowing
like a magic tunnel
a place that will protect
me from suffering
transporting me
away and separate

Sinking deeper
into practice
I lose my grip,
Chaos rushes
in the form of
thought
doubt
pain
fear

I grasp
as if
feeling for the
walls of
my peace portal
to bolster me
so that I may
define myself
in space...
only to
find expansiveness
and myself
and the discomfort
gnaws

Naming it:
"discomfort"
"attachment"
I am honoring
these
sensations
emotions
with awareness
and a gentle
invitation to
stay

Returning
to the breath
to anchor,
the discomfort
slips past
the attachment
loosens
the need
for containment
transforms

Suddenly
a revelatory
knowing arrives
and it seems
to have
originated
within
Not from
the mind
or
the ego

Deeper

It surfaces
and
a smile
subtly
sneaks
allowing me
to relish
in a knowingness

that heals
that reveals
that in
recognizing...seals

Opening
my eyes
I tell myself:

I

Am

Peace.

And for
today,
I know this
to be true.

Namaste.

Saturday, May 16, 2020

Architect of Connection

Big feelings bloomed in snark and noise
Mutual righteousness adorned each side
Until a sudden "freeze out", silence
Naked emotion stuck, nowhere to hide

Letters were shared bravely bedside

Writing for healing stings as it goes
Vulnerability bled messy into margins
No response-never-exposed once more
Self-doubt and fear growing up in gardens

This is the way a heart hardens

Anxious tendrils, vines of confusion
Emotional neglect quietly worked to rewire
Then an abrupt melting, occurred sans science
First hold ice cubes, next fan the fire

You began to feel like a fraudulent liar

Ego dystonic thoughts without any space
A landscape rife for numbing then shame
"If you plant ice, you're gonna harvest wind" 
Lyrics that danced for decades inside a mental frame

Wondering… will I always feel the same?

Breath that defines life from death 
Gave new hope for inhaling inside of truth
Anchored to the pause, feel it and know
I am whole, connected, this exhale my proof

Mindfulness safeguards from acting aloof

I am not my mother
I am not my father
I was never left behind
Because
I am not my feelings
I am not my thoughts
I do not need to rewind
Because
I am not my own mind
I can choose to remind

Love and wisdom interplay in light
Serving me, healing me with protection
I was never really frozen solid, rather 
Learning to be an architect of connection

THIS is what I see in my reflection.

Friday, May 8, 2020

masterpiece

water color paintings 
birthed 
through streaky
ribbons
wet and bright,
a mess of hues
led to completion
through a journey
of liquid squirming
and spreading
directionless
tints and tones
erratically
searching
the primal effort 
to take up space
all of it 
happening
whether we choose
to acknowledge or not
reminding me of feelings
and their pursuit for
peace,
demanding their proper
place
because they
were created 
to know their purpose:
to roam and leak out
filling in the corners
and mixing about
shapes inside of
insight contained
with madness
and brilliance
until they settle
and make sense
becoming beautiful
productions
the ability
to allow is
hardwired into
all of us so we
learn what is real
learn how to feel
learn where to know
learn when to grow
learn why we go
we are all feelings artists
take a deep breath
and cultivate your
process before the
palette dries out
each day
is a new brush
each feeling
a new stroke
let it flow
curate your collection
do the work 
and let it soak
your life is your
finest masterpiece






Wednesday, May 6, 2020

acceptance and spring

acceptance smells like lilacs
resistance reeks of mold
inhaling spring's sweet messages
avoiding doom bought and sold

the space we give to nature
to change to bend and sway
loans an understanding:
things won't always be this way

winged messages inside the trees
continue to be shared
trust the branches to hold weight
trust we will be spared

faith, belief, grief and loss
teach us how to reframe
guarding us from toxic leaks
empathy cancels out shame

the collective truth of seasons
an antidote for the stressed
notice the center of the flower
beating inside our chest

connection cannot be contained
inside of posts and zooms
be it a place holder for connection
like a bear's winter den rooms

improvise adapt overcome
our power to rise up is now
look out the window with wonder
understand we all know how

walk with this message today:
pain is immediate, sensory and real
notice without getting carried away
prevent suffering, allowing to heal

ringing in our ears like bells
is a prompt to lean into it all 
the wisdom fluttering around us, 
heed a new sounding call 

answer it
answer it
 answer it 

now




















Sunday, April 19, 2020

Differences

Pandemic Day 3,245. Or whatever.

In the good ole' days, in an actual school classroom:

Solid engagement/comprehension that slips into a loss of focus -> 
"Okay class, let's break into small groups and review"

Blank stares/confused expressions -> 
"Alright guys, no worries, let me back it up a bit"

Silliness and distraction -> 
"Hey everyone, stand up- let's take a movement break, and do a quick check-in"

Today:

Zoom -> "No I don't want to see your mom's room...it's a good idea to put a shirt on...okay, friends- let's do a review of...nope, I MEANT to mute you all...let's just all try to hang in and listen super quick...no I don't know why so and so isn't here again...yes, I hope they're okay too..."

*SIGH*

THIS IS NOT EDUCATION.

Take a wider lens. It's not too late....



Saturday, April 18, 2020

Sunlight meditation


Enjoy this children's meditation I created. May it bring you some peace and warmth.