Tuesday Haiku

Busyness shows up

Stress invites meditation,

Everything softens 

Process

Pause

Observe

Name

FEEL

Reality 

is not always

what's real.

Seeking round

holes

unaware

that our edges

are sharp

and moving

about space

without caution

AND

we can soften

we can bleed

when we concede

each moment

to the breath

and the anchor

of truth

change 

definitely

feels 

some 

kind of

way

safe

to 

say

have
it
your
way

a
new
day

is it pain

or disdain

a refrain

to stay sane

time to 

dance in the 

rain

wash ourselves

clean with 

kaleidoscope

truth

and crystallized

proof

becoming

more comfortable

with discomfort

until we can 

hold it all 

united we stand

when we understand

divided we fall

when we miss the call

The Lotus

Stagnantly sitting outside of my core

Vulnerability arrives and opens a door

Breathing in this

Magnitude, 

My dullness inspired,

An urge to learn more

Clarity is conjured:

A lotus flower vision

complexity and precision

When a mind truly yearns,

It is the heart that learns

"the lotus is a

sacred flower,

symbolizing cosmic

harmony"

Exhaling out this

fortitude

Awash in alignment

Insight begins to show

What else is there to know to grow?

Currently steeping

in undeniable truth

the lotus flower rests,

a floater of proof

"give the lotus as much

light as possible"

Purposefully

elevating voices 

and choices

My beauty

my lightness

my grace and

my power 

Sits at the surface

Atop the white ivory tower

Averse to recognize

The sticky resistance 

lurking beneath-

It quells, 

It repels

It ultimately sells

And yet something...

Something.

Something.... is missing?

No, there is no evidence of lack
Over-abundance bred privilege

 Under-awareness and slack 

Why is it we overly pour

our own estimations 

of the overly poor?

"too much fertilizer

may cause the lotus

foliage to burn"

We are all one lotus

Separating our superiority 

from the root's work and pain

With refute and disdain,

Beautiful hues slip out of the frame

 I am reminded of my truest

intention:"right speech"
Living to teach 

Meaning to reach 

Prevention

Detention

That which 

We should not

Mention

Suspension supports Invention

Propension for Intention

We are all one lotus

Heart Flexes

Mind Pounds

Reactions ripple like pond pebbles

  Or a ringing in the ear

Blocking out slurs from

those I hold dear

Why, why, why all the fear?

I open 

I close

We are all one lotus

"the lotus is associated

with the sun because

it blooms by day,

and closes by night"

Awakening,

I cry 

Feeling, 

I bleed

I am not a rose

Yet these thorns

upon me, wishing to feed

We are all one lotus

The hollow ache 

in my center feels  

 woeful and misunderstood-

I see you, I love you

I honor your good.

"Care must be taken

when inserting

fertilizer tabs, 

because the growing

tip and new growth

can be damaged"

My messages lost 

mistaken, unseen

I close again

 preserving

unliked and unclean

"lotuses started

from seeds will

probably not bloom

the first year"

Listening closely, please tell me you hear?

We must hold on

together... 

Beauty

grows near

Being patient with the slow

Believing bravely we will know

The wisdom is singing up from below

This is how we too shall grow 

We are all one lotus

Rising up from the deep 

Aged suffering

Mischaracterized as cahoots 

Reach down far enough,

We will feel our own roots

"It is important

to protect the 

lotus roots

from freezing"

Leaves and petals

dance with delight

buoyancy supported and white

derived out of muddiness 

Darkness emboldened by night 

"the lotus

is even believed

to have given 

birth to the sun"

When darkness subsides

Our hearts blessed with new sight

Healing our blindness

We are filled with the light 

We are all one lotus

The Sounds of Weightlessness

Rhododendrons reveal

whiteness, 

while

sun cascades 

clipping and casting

shadows on suburban

homes and dreams

And birds flit

faster 

it seems these

days,

louder too.

Can they

see it all? 

Can they

hear it all?

Better still,

can WE?

The panic

The injustice

The illness

The void

The meaning

Do they carry 

messages to one

another 

wondering,

purposefully

plotting

how to get us to 

not just notice

this, 

but also

to vote on this?

Can we hear it?

The invisibility

cloak 

of privilege

and pride

serves as a

weighted blanket

for some,

therapeutically

quelling

discomfort

lullabying

that there is

"nothing more

to be done here"

After all,

'it's just awful'

and 

'such 

a shame'

Clucks of

the tongue

team up with

disgusted

shakes of

the head
clearing space 

so folks can 

get back in

line at 

home

depot 

for potted

plants and 

grass seed

and I wonder

what's the most

important thing

to grow?

And the 

birds hang

out in the 

garden center

too, you know

they see it all
and 

their chatter 
is everywhere
for those who
truly listen

I'd like

to think

they're all

abuzz 

about the 

phoenix

rising up in

the streets

Aware

that enough 

is finally 

enough 

and the 

time to pivot

and shift 

has arrived

we can all learn to 
fly 

yet, the terror

that paralyzes

those who

have been long 

served through 

flowers, blankets

now stand

naked, afraid

But this, my friends

is how we are born.

And it

also how

we will 

be born 

again:

weightless

I am Peace.

As I walk into
my meditation
I imagine myself
opening a door to
peace
and visualize
being able to
step inside
where I will feel it
warm and glowing
like a magic tunnel
a place that will protect
me from suffering
transporting me
away and separate

Sinking deeper
into practice
I lose my grip,
Chaos rushes
in the form of
thought
doubt
pain
fear

I grasp
as if
feeling for the
walls of
my peace portal
to bolster me
so that I may
define myself
in space...
only to
find expansiveness
and myself
and the discomfort
gnaws

Naming it:
"discomfort"
"attachment"
I am honoring
these
sensations
emotions
with awareness
and a gentle
invitation to
stay

Returning
to the breath
to anchor,
the discomfort
slips past
the attachment
loosens
the need
for containment
transforms

Suddenly
a revelatory
knowing arrives
and it seems
to have
originated
within
Not from
the mind
or
the ego

Deeper

It surfaces
and
a smile
subtly
sneaks
allowing me
to relish
in a knowingness

that heals
that reveals
that in
recognizing...seals

Opening
my eyes
I tell myself:

I

Am

Peace.

And for
today,
I know this
to be true.

Namaste.

Architect of Connection

Big feelings bloomed in snark and noise

Mutual righteousness adorned each side

Until a sudden "freeze out", silence

Naked emotion stuck, nowhere to hide

Letters were shared bravely bedside

Writing for healing stings as it goes

Vulnerability bled messy into margins

No response-never-exposed once more

Self-doubt and fear growing up in gardens

This is the way a heart hardens

Anxious tendrils, vines of confusion

Emotional neglect quietly worked to rewire

Then an abrupt melting, occurred sans science

First hold ice cubes, next fan the fire

You began to feel like a fraudulent liar

Ego dystonic thoughts without any space

A landscape rife for numbing then shame

"If you plant ice, you're gonna harvest wind" 

Lyrics that danced for decades inside a mental frame

Wondering… will I always feel the same?

Breath that defines life from death 

Gave new hope for inhaling inside of truth

Anchored to the pause, feel it and know

I am whole, connected, this exhale my proof

Mindfulness safeguards from acting aloof

I am not my mother

I am not my father

I was never left behind

Because

I am not my feelings

I am not my thoughts

I do not need to rewind

Because

I am not my own mind

I can choose to remind

Love and wisdom interplay in light

Serving me, healing me with protection

I was never really frozen solid, rather 

Learning to be an architect of connection

THIS is what I see in my reflection.

masterpiece

water color paintings 

birthed 

through streaky

ribbons

wet and bright,

a mess of hues

led to completion

through a journey

of liquid squirming

and spreading

directionless

tints and tones

erratically

searching

the primal effort 

to take up space

all of it 

happening

whether we choose

to acknowledge or not

reminding me of feelings

and their pursuit for

peace,

demanding their proper

place

because they

were created 

to know their purpose:

to roam and leak out

filling in the corners

and mixing about

shapes inside of

insight contained

with madness

and brilliance

until they settle

and make sense

becoming beautiful

productions

the ability

to allow is

hardwired into

all of us so we

learn what is real

learn how to feel

learn where to know

learn when to grow

learn why we go

we are all feelings artists

take a deep breath

and cultivate your

process before the

palette dries out

each day

is a new brush

each feeling

a new stroke

let it flow

curate your collection

do the work 

and let it soak

your life is your

finest masterpiece