Big feelings bloomed in snark and noise
Mutual righteousness adorned each side
Until a sudden "freeze out", silence
Naked emotion stuck, nowhere to hide
Letters were shared bravely bedside
Writing for healing stings as it goes
Vulnerability bled messy into margins
No response-never-exposed once more
Self-doubt and fear growing up in gardens
This is the way a heart hardens
Anxious tendrils, vines of confusion
Emotional neglect quietly worked to rewire
Then an abrupt melting, occurred sans science
First hold ice cubes, next fan the fire
You began to feel like a fraudulent liar
Ego dystonic thoughts without any space
A landscape rife for numbing then shame
"If you plant ice, you're gonna harvest wind"
Lyrics that danced for decades inside a mental frame
Wondering… will I always feel the same?
Breath that defines life from death
Gave new hope for inhaling inside of truth
Anchored to the pause, feel it and know
I am whole, connected, this exhale my proof
Mindfulness safeguards from acting aloof
I am not my mother
I am not my father
I was never left behind
Because
I am not my feelings
I am not my thoughts
I do not need to rewind
Because
I am not my own mind
I can choose to remind
Love and wisdom interplay in light
Serving me, healing me with protection
I was never really frozen solid, rather
Learning to be an architect of connection
THIS is what I see in my reflection.
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